The Funny Thing About Being Depressed

· · 5 Comments

As some of you may know, I’ve been depressed for almost a year now. These past few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions, from intense anger for no apparent reason, through unexplainable happiness, to complete and utter indifference.

While most days are fine, sometimes I just cannot be bothered about anything. I’m supposed to be working, but since I can’t focus on anything, I decided to write these words instead. ‘Cannot be bothered’ is putting it mildly, to be honest. I feel as if there’s nothing else left to achieve. I did what I wanted to do in life, and while there are some things left on my to-do list, they don’t seem very important all of a sudden. It would be so much easier to just give up…

The funny thing about being depressed is that I have a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. Quite frankly, I’m quite surprised that I held up as well as I have, and while it would be so much easier to just forfeit everything, I started thinking about all the people who decide to lessen their pain — drugs, alcohol, more drugs, and whatever else is popular these days. There are times when I’m jealous of them choosing the easy way out, but most of all I feel sorry for them — whatever they’re going through must be an absolutely horrible experience.

The phrase ‘being depressed’ has been so watered down over the years, that even I thought it just means to be sad. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy, even though I wish it was. Many people consider what I’m going through as ‘first world problems’, which is bollocks. I realise that I have everything that I need — a loving family, friends, and more possessions than I need — but the problem is wanting to care. I just can’t make myself do that, most days.

Being depressed sucks.

Back to work, and my apologies for my writing — it’s not as engaging as it should be lately.

Chcesz zwrócić mi na coś uwagę lub skomentować? Zapraszam na @morid1n.

5 Comments

  1. Reading depression related posts from you, Wojtek, is important to me. I feel sorry for you, but I also see how brave you are sharing your feelings and problems with the world. I find you as fragile as strong and this is what inspires me. Thank you.

  2. Yes, for me too. Your posts shows me that every ordinary person can have that problem, like me. You’re not alone, we’re with you :)

  3. Nothing personal. Perhaps it will make you smiling…
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?sns=fb&v=M6wRnouGZFQ
    Watch with sound!

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