The Trouble With Johnny Depp

Stephen Rodrick, for Rolling Stone:

Multimillion-dollar lawsuits, a haze of booze and hash, a marriage gone very wrong and a lifestyle he can’t afford – inside the trials of Johnny Depp.

This is a profoundly sad story, but one part did make me laugh:

Depp says the fight is for his children, Jack and Lily-Rose, a Chanel model.

“My son had to hear about how his old man lost all his money from kids at school, that’s not right,” says Depp. He rubs his eyes with his tobacco-stained hands. He says one of the proudest moments of his life was when Jack said he’d started a band and Depp asked what they were called.

“The kid says ‘Clown Boner.'” Depp smiles proudly. “We don’t need a paternity test. That’s my kid.”